It is the nature of alien abductions that one feels confused for an indeterminate time after being returned to Earth. It should not be surprising, then, that it is not clear if LOOUNCH is immortal, or a time traveler. Perhaps there is little difference. Whatever the case, or the reason, there can be no arguing that since LOOUNCH’s abduction by aliens, little has made sense back on our home planet. Here at Positive Canine Guidance, we have been combing photographic records both public and private, and we finally have the evidence to prove that LOOUNCH has the power to transfer his molecules between the dimensions of time and space. Not since Remo Williams has an American Hero of this caliber appeared: Rock musician of inestimable talent and influence, and secret agent and saboteur, Positive Canine Canine Guidance is proud to present: The Feats of LOOUNCH!